A Little Break from All IVF All the Time

I can’t help it, though. That’s what’s been going on, so that’s what you get. And even though this is a rant about a client, it even involves IVF.

So, I have this client. We’ve been working together for over 7 years now, which is amazing. (Ironically, that’s the same amount of time Scott and I have been trying to grow our family.) She’s been a sort of friend client, the type where we chat about personal stuff for a little while with each business call. She even invited me to her baby shower several years ago, which I attended.

She’s pretty high maintenance, this client, and I don’t doubt that, if she could afford it, should would lock me up on salary so that I could be at her beck and call, and ONLY her beck and call, at all times. Because of that high maintenance behavior, this IVF stuff doesn’t seem to be sitting too well with her.

Oh, she started off so supportive and excited for me. Then she realized that it would mean taking time away from her, and she started getting pissy. It began this week with my three rest days, which I told her in advance I would be fully complying with and so would only be available for emergencies. And during that time, I did deal with several of her so called “emergencies.” But she started getting snarkier and snarkier, making comments like:

“Well, you can do your job from the couch.”

“Have you been flipped yet today?”

“If you think that discomfort is bad, wait till you try motherhood.”

And so on. My favorite came in an email yesterday, which was the day I returned to work:

“Is Scott at least letting you wipe yourself?”

Now, I’m not one to be shocked by vulgarity. I can sling some pretty vulgar language around at times, things that would make a sailor blush. But this type of crudeness coming from a client really stunned me. It’s such an innapropriate comment in a professional setting that I find it hard to believe she put it in writing. I wasn’t sure if I should even acknowledge it, but I settled on this reply:

“Um…?”

And then I replied to her tacked on “how are you feeling?” with raves about how glad I was to be able to resume normal activities, but happy that I followed doctor’s orders and was able to give my three embryos all the rest and calm they needed to, hopefully, grow and burrow in. I believe she took a hint, because she hasn’t mentioned it again.

Bubbling at the center of all this is the insinuation that I’m slacking. After all, she’s the professional who called me from the hospital on her cell phone while she was being prepped for her second c-section, to make a correction to her newsletter going out later that day.

Seriously.

If she can’t handle me being unavailable for three days, how the hell would she have handled me being in China for three WEEKS? And if I’m pregnant and have a baby in July? It’s going to be three MONTHS before I plan to resume my regular work schedule and make myself available for anything other than emergencies. And she’s going to have to just suck it.

Her pregnancies came easy to her. An accidental first child. At 40. Another accidental child at 42. Her pregnancies were also, from what I understand, easy physically. She was never on bed rest or anything like that, and I know that’s where a lot of this is coming from. She doesn’t get how much work this is. She doesn’t get that I’ve spent 7 years trying to have a baby, and now I’ve spent $15,000 on drugs and medical procedures and months sticking needles into my belly and ass every day. Am I going to do everything by the book as a result? Damn straight I am.

And, even though she’s by far my biggest client, if she has a problem with that, she can find someone else to work for her.

Kim

2 Responses

  1. Although I have no doubt that part of what’s eating her is jealousy over your time, I can assure you that *we* got the same attitude from acquaintances and (occasionally) a family member.

    When you are pregnant or have a small child, everyone seems to have an opinion about what you should be doing and few people bother to keep it to him or herself. And a scary number of people seem to take pleasure in how much misery they think you are about to experience.

    So.

  2. wow – i think you are right to be shocked – amazing what people can think they can get away with saying on the internet – i am sure she wouldn’t have said it to your face!

    stick to your guns – and don’t take her ‘attitude’.

    on to ivf – are you still feeling sick?