Exactly ten years ago right now, I was preparing to walk down the aisle and marry the love of my life. Looking back on that day, it seems that there’s no way it could be so long ago, and at the same time I can hardly remember a time when Scott and I weren’t together.
The photo above is one of my favorites from our wedding day, because we’re both laughing and so is Judy, our celebrant. A lot of the wedding photos are like that, actually, and I think that’s a really good representation of our life together. We’re always laughing, the two of us. We can find humor in just about anything, and I think that’s what has kept us together for so long.
The second photo is another of my favorites, because I think it represents another theme in our marriage. I remember looking at him in this moment and knowing that we were both thinking, “Holy crap. We did it. We really did it!” Looking at this photo makes me think of all the times we’ve looked at each other and passed a silent “are we really going to do this?” from one to the other. Everything from deciding whether or not to try IVF to spending too much money on a TV or deciding whether or not to adopt two kittens… this is a look that passes between us often, though usually without the shell shock I can see in our faces in this photo.
Some people say that marriage is just a piece of paper, and that you can form as deep a commitment without making it legal. I used to be one of those people, but I changed the day I got married. It wasn’t the making it legal part that changed me. It was the standing up in front of everyone we loved and stating our dedication to each other, creating our new family-of-two right there in that moment.
We’ve had more ups than downs over the past ten years, but the thing that got us through the downs was that pledge. There was a time when I know one of us would have walked away if we hadn’t been married, but because we were, we stuck with it and worked through it and came out stronger in the end. Being married saved our relationship, which would have splintered if we didn’t have that bond to fight for.
I am so grateful to Scott for the life we share together. Ten years has gone by in the blink of an eye. but lucky me that I get to look forward to another ten, and another and another and another.
I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this before, but Scott and I wrote our wedding ceremony ourselves. We used some traditional sources and just went from there, making it very much our own. Since I still have it in my old documents, I thought it would be nice to share it today. I think we did a very good job writing a secular wedding ceremony to be performed by a Humanist celebrant while keeping an important Pagan element. It’s pretty long, so it’s after the jump.
Gareth was Scott’s best man, Laurie and Michele my attendants, and Stuart my former step-father.